One of the main reasons I started this blog was to let people know the mistakes I have made. In hopes that people who read this will learn and not repeat them.First lesson: It is important to be a great father, but it is just as important to be a great husband.
I was not so great, when I first got my son Max's diagnosis I fell into a deep depression. I did all the grieving, my wife became the wet band aid that held the whole circus together. When we got my daughter's diagnosis, I didn't do much better.
My wife is my number one autism superhero. Having her Masters in special Education, I expected her to do all the work. Not once did I think to myself, "hey, maybe she deserves to do some grieving too".
The divorce rate of parents with kids on the spectrum is 80% - I wasn't doing anything to improve upon that number. I almost single-handedly destroyed our marriage.
Autism is tough, when you get that diagnosis, you feel helpless and defeated. Mothers sometimes blame themselves. It is important for us husbands to stay strong and do what ever we can. Yeah, it is ok to grieve, but it is imperative for us to MOVE ON. Your kids will do best when they have two strong parents working in unison to give them the start they need.
It is tough to write this. I am ashamed of all the hell I put my wife through, but by owning up to it and trying to do my best I feel I can make our future better.
Things are better now, but it has taken a long time. We still have a ways to go but things are definately better.
I love my wife and if I had a time machine I would go back and do things differently. Anyone know where I can get a time machine? The only one I have come across is one that moves into the future at regular speed...
The most important thing you should take from this post is a saying my wife and I live by, HAPPY WIFE, HAPPY LIFE.
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